Equinox fall

I lie on my equinox, split night
and day, stare the stars away,
retreat from my sun’s warmth,
shrivel from his kisses; fear
we’ll kill the owl, we’ve clipped
my peregrine wings, that I’m
naught but a carrion crow.

I fly the interstate highway,
eyes torn in dimming light,
whisper to myself, “take flight.”
But caged in an automotive,
with love my passenger, I
cannot roost nor swoop,
let alone, ascend, from barn
to branch to windy mountain.

Oh my sun, let me resurrect
my demons, darling.  Night
must grow longer so that I
might slink under it, satisfy
myself in your pale moonlight.
Let me fall and winter over;
let me grow cold and dream
again; let all your blossoms,
fruits, fade, shrink, and fall;
let it all fall, bare in the night.
The owl will snatch the mice
that gather summer’s seeds.

Only among mountaintops
will the falcon recall how
high and far and fast it can
fly.  This crow will still caw
beside your bedroom window:
“In every death, we find meat.”

My winter will again end
so we can find one another
as equals; my sun, the stars
must share the sky, if ever I
am to be a migratory bird.
Let me lie on my equinox,
split with you, day and night.

Said the Forest to the Fox

The fox-who-was-a-boy fled the wilderness into the wood, where forgetting has no place, into the wood that remembers every facet of the world, where all of history and knowledge flourish, where every tree tells a story made of words solid unspoken, as textured as bark. The boy-fox sought sanctuary in the thick, wrinkled skin of the forest, in its many branches of possibility, in its leaves that touch the wind and the sun’s golden gaze, in the rings of its ever-growing interior.

Deep in the forest, the boy-fox climbed up into a tree he found to his liking, a tree to represent all trees, a tall banyan that was itself a forest of trees, thick with roots and trunks and branches and leaves reaching up forever into the night sky, as if to touch the very moon and stars, where memory and knowledge dream.

In the arms of the tree, the boy-fox curled up to slumber, hugging his foxtail for warmth.  The boy-fox dreamt himself a gray fox, chased by hounds and nobles on horseback.  The hounds he alluded by scampering up a tree, not towering but squat, big around, and foreboding, not a banyan or any other sort of tree he’d ever seen before in any forest.  Its roots struck into the earth and rock like the giant hands of old witches.  Its branches spread like long, crooked gallows, and from them hung gray leaves like damp rags from men whose necks had long ago snapped.  The strange tree stood reminiscent of a swamp, though the earth all around was dry as dust.

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The Tall Tale Boy, Part II – “The Sun and Moon”

After three days of business meetings and tireless socializing, I fled Ko Olina to spend a day in Honolulu.  I planned to meet my cousin for dinner, but arrived in the city midday and so decided to wander Waikiki for a few hours in search of souvenirs.

Mark and I had exchanged several emails over the course of the week.  He feared I’d forget him while basking in Hawaii’s beauty; I assured him this was not the case.  He seemed taken with me after only a few weeks of online correspondence.  I, in turn, became taken with the idea of dating a kindhearted, submissive young man.  After three years chasing Portland kinksters for casual sex, it felt an appropriate change of pace to exchange sweet nothings with a romantic.

My thoughts of the Cuban reflected in the sun’s brilliance and warmth.  I welcomed the heat as a foreign, complementary element, a relief from the dreary coolness I’d come to expect.  Never before had I been to Hawaii, nor would I have planned such a destination for myself.  But fortune had smiled and brought me here for business.  I also felt as though fortune had brought a prospective love into my life.  I wanted to return to Portland with a token of my hope for a new beginning—and to let Mark know that I thought of him here, under this auspicious tropical sun.

silver sun necklaceI found a shop that sold jewelry handmade by Native artists, both of Hawaiian descent and otherwise.  I decided—a necklace was the perfect gift—and after perusing, found a pendant that suited my aesthetics.  When I asked a sales clerk about it, she replied in broken English that it was a symbol of the rising sun, renewal and rebirth.

I didn’t buy the necklace until the following morning, after debating the purchase with my cousin.  She advised,

—Buy what you would wear, just in case.

Indeed, like so many Portland men I’ve met, Mark disappeared after our first date.  I sometimes wonder if he were, in some way, my Rosaline.

Continue reading “The Tall Tale Boy, Part II – “The Sun and Moon””