tabletop gamer, writer & visual artist

Tag: love

Reason Left to Love

As another year draws to a close, I again ponder the future of human civilization and how best to go on living in it.

In my thirties, I resolved to no longer make New Year’s resolutions. It was perhaps the inevitable result of my nihilistic epiphany eleven years ago, to accept life’s small joys rather than torture myself aspiring to lofty ideals I seemed unable to attain.

The fallout of the pandemic altered us all—even if human civilization as a whole appears stubbornly determined to continue its self-destructive course. But it wasn’t until December of ’21 that I decided to make a New Year’s resolution.

I wil remember

I am no one if not not-me,
and this I keep forgetting;
if I settle for this being,
then I’ve forgotten myself;
not, mind you, a self
which I can identify
(that will never please me),
but myself as only “I see”;
not seeing nor thinking
itself, which is in danger
of this forgetting pattern;
not claiming nor knowing,
wherein lies certain death;
no, truth lies in denying
(dare we say, forgetting)
oneself, as only emptiness
can learn one own truth.

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